Last month I wrote down some thoughts about friendships as well as the human need for deep friendships (love and acceptance). This is a huge need across the body of Christ but even all of humanity! I wanted to finish up my thoughts here and encourage you to find a deep friend and give you some practical ways to have meaningful conversation in the time you have with them. My perception is that most do not have satisfying friendships in their life, and God’s vision for you is to have relationships that are more than shallow!

There are many hindrances to having deep friendships: wrong perspectives (that you have to be pursued instead of you being the one to do the pursuing) fear of being known in your weakness, not making time for friendships, not being friendly to people, unsure how to have friendships-what to do/speak about, and having past hurt relationships and not wanting to be hurt again. We need God to envision us with what He desires, and bring inner healing to our hearts!

So what could godly friendships look like?

-You could join or start a small group- do a book study, or a bible study, join a wive’s group or a men’s bible study – anywhere there is a place of consistent deep talking is greatly encouraging!

If you would like a one on one friendship where you can share your struggles and weaknesses and vice versa, here are some of my ideas on how to set up that close friendship times. You don’t have to have a “best friend” to do this with but simply someone who wants strengthened in their relationship with God.  I would simply ask a person in my life if they would be up for weekly or bi-weekly conversation to not only hold each other accountable in things but pray for each other. I have done these types of meetings in every season of my life the last 6 years:

  1. Meet for about an hour a week or bi-weekly, same time same place helps with consistency in your schedule
  2. Within the hour time that you are with them bring up same 3 things each week. Examples: 1) fear of man (heart issue that I want breakthrough in), 2) speech (character issue) and 3) your Bible study plan (any Christian disciplines that you want accountability in)
  3. Within the hour, each of you take turns to share as much as you want
  4. Then share anything random- random sin, something that occurred within your week, or how you are struggling with something specific
  5. Confess any sin to the Lord and to them- don’t make excuses for it or feel the need to explain it all-just confess and receive His forgiveness through them.
  6. Pray/prophesy over each other!
  7. Sometimes it is appropriate to talk with your close friend about how you can set up your life or thoughts or emotions differently in order to not sin.

How do you find friends like that? First ask God to give you comrades in the faith! Look for obvious people around you at church or another spiritual place, at your workplace, at a small group or bible study that you want to go to, or just go places where you know you can meet like minded people and initiate a small hangout with them. He will give you righteous friends if you consistently ask and seek out Godly friendships. Most every time it takes initiating, deep friendships don’t fall out of the sky.

As you pursue deep friendships right now, you are pursuing deepness in God.  You will grow in righteousness and humility, friends will help you to receive the love of God in your weaknesses, and also help you do what you set your heart to do!

-Bethany